“To all Holly’s friends:
It’s with great sadness that we announce Holly’s passing in the early hours of this morning. After enduring so much, it was finally her time to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful. She looked serene, when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all”, wrote Holly’s brother Din on Facebook and posted his sister’s message, shared now by more than 80 thousand people.
A bit of life advice from Hol:
It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey, mostly thanks to my beautiful family (with lots of children). I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad that it hurts. But that’s the way of life. It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.
I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But I cannot change anything.
I haven’t started this “note before I die” so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a “taboo” topic that will never happen to any of us.
That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, and forget about rubbish.
I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to think about life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head! Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it.
It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and effect negatively other people’s days.
Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh air deep in your lungs, look at how beautiful the blue sky and green trees. Think how lucky you are to be able to breathe.
You might have got caught in a traffic jam today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite and your belly is wobbling. Let it all go! I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole.
I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.
I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise… Be grateful that you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do both of them. I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion.
Appreciate your good health and functioning body, even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it. Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body. Work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realize just how insignificant and unimportant it is to have this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body.
Delete any account that gives you any sense of feeling worse about yourself. No matter, a friend or not. Be ruthless for your own well-being.
Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle. Although it upsets you, accept it and be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.
Moan less, people! And help each other more.
Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers. More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.
It is weird to have money when you’re dying. It’s not a time for going shopping. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.
Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewelry. First, no one cares if you wear the same thing twice. Second, it feels good, when you present close people with pleasant things. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Bring them coffee. Give them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.
Value other people’s time.
Don’t keep them waiting because you are constantly being late. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you (and do not want to sit by themselves, waiting on a mate). You will gain respect!
This year our family agreed not to give presents and despite the tree waslooking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and took the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves…
Strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. It was also easier to do in our house because we have no little kiddies. Anyway, moral of the story is that presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Use your money on experiences. Or at least don’t miss experiences because you spent all your money on material stuff.
Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.
Get to the nature. Try just enjoying moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo…
Enjoy the bloody moment, people!
Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.
Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females.
Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.
Listen to music… really listen. Music is therapy. Especially old.
Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.
Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?
Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.
Work to live, don’t live to work.
Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.
Eat the cake. Zero guilt!
Say “no” to things you really don’t want to do. Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life… You might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.
Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.
Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have courage to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this Earth, so don’t waste it being miserable.
I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.
Anyway, that’s just this one young girl’s life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!
And one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.
Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.
..’Til we meet again, Holly”.